to my queen

twin embers

what we both know and what we long to say
is a miracle that is eating me alive day by day
what we both hold, we twin embers of the flame
these lives wernt ment to save the world it was never ours
anyway...........

we treat ourselves so bad, today the masochists unite
just in case you lie tonight ill be there to believe you
the day it all comes down crashing around you
in amber rain the sky will fall to seas of pain behind your eyes

ive always chased this feelin and i wont hesitate
and by my own admission its compleatly INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!


we seed the hopeless lives, to augment the bleakest scene, with light
just in case you hide tonight ill be there to retrieve you
when it all comes down, ending around you
in violet shades the night will fall to seize the pain behind your smile

ive always chased this feelin and i wont hesitate
and by my own admission its compleatly INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!

cant you see the consequence
this simply isn't happenstance
the fact you make me feel so fucking good it hurts
but what we both know we twin embers of the flame
our lives weren't meant to save a world that was never ours anyway.

we will shine like the darkest spot upon the sun

cant you see the consequence
this simply isn't happenstance
the fact you make me feel so fucking good it hurts
but what we both know we twin embers of the flame
our lives wernt ment to save a world that was never ours anyway.

what we both know and what we long to say
is a miracle that is eating me alive day by day
what we both hold, we twin dancers of the flame
these lives were built on fairy tales aren't ours to live anyway.....

I GOT SPONSORED!!!!

So as a few of you know i work at a coffee shop. We recently had a BIGWIG in from TONY's coffee. I made him a few drinks and he was blown away!!!! He called me the other day and offered me a sponsorship with his company to train as a competition barista and travel around to different coffee competitions and demo their new super killer espresso. There sending me to LA at the end of the month to start my training with the 2008 world champion barista. SUPERFUCKINKILLASS! im soo stoked. ill write another journal about it soon as i get back. Yall better believe that im gunna get up all over Long Beach while im down there!! I'll try to take a few fliks!!!

werd

what this wicked world would be with out you ill never know, in crashing waves of sanity , my life begins to flow, everday your hands cupped round my heart giving way to a freedom not thought possible for me.

go on and glow, bring forth the feeling you were ment to, go on and glow be that some one that we all see go on glow breach through the dust.


there is an ungency, backed by sicerity that begs you to know, sift through calmity and dig through yor atrophy to finnaly show,

go on and glow bring forth that feeling you were ment to wen they say go on and glow please earthling not a human.

in an attempt to jump start the flow of artistic energy in my body i have forced myself to stop playing halo obsessively and to pick up the paint again. i would like to form some type of group for artists that focuses on the darker side of what we do. NO im not talking about cattle mutilation or pedophilia, I'm talking about the real reasons we make art.....the deepest core issues that drive the pen to paper. To discuss the inner torment is to bring it to light. Sometimes i think about the real fucked up shit that has happened to me when im trying to paint and the vision that I'm attempting to express become skewed when i allow the emotions to take over. I believe that by discussing it with other people and possibly coming to some type of understanding or identification with it, a better concept of what drives me (us) as an artist can be developed and through that, a new sense of meaning in this otherwise condemned existence.




....just a thought

i've worked with paint for a while. and have some fears about posting my stuff (on the street) as i've already done my time. anyway. i jumped into using acrylic headfirst last night and was pleased with the result. I wonder why art is so expensive? 45 buck for a fuckin brush? are you kidding? 498.98 for a set of copics? WTF? aside from my anger about money im really stoked to start doing canvases and such....